Balbyniens all, we began compiling this particular waffle recipe with the intention of showcasing songs containing Theremins that really shouldn’t have Theremins in them.

Gradually, however, Lenny obtained a discount religion and was quite nonetheless.

Syrup swallowers born after April Fools Day, 1992 should not be listening to or downloading this or any other episode of When Waffles Matter.

Seekers, this site looks really wrong in Internet Explorer. In order to enjoy the golden brown deliciousness of steaming Bobigny, we advise using ANY OTHER BROWSER than IE. Broken browsers from Jupiter and Bladensburg will, in fact, render a better waffle than IE.

We welcome your comments! Click the above CONTACT US tab and have at it. Alternatively you may write us at whenwafflesmatter@gmail.com .You can expect a speedy yet not so serious reply. Ecrivez en français si vous voullez parce-ce que tous les profs dedans ce site web habitez très proche du Pont de Sèvres.

Fast forward 12 minutes. Now rewind 2 minutes. Play for 38 seconds. Now, fast forward again, this time for 23 minutes. There! Stop right there! Okay, so Marcello and Lenny decide they’re going to re-hinge an Oster 3883 instead of peeling blueberries. Now, I know what you are thinking as we’ve all been there before: What about the steeplof grommet located askew of the straussman retainer? A sticky wicket indeed and potentially dangerous in any post-1970 Oster when the gusset bromlin inside this classic waffle iron is wired for 4 amps (see Fig. 5).

With Marcello holding the Phillips head taut against the faidherbe chaligny (see Fig 6), and Lenny giving slack to the montgallet gear (Fig. 7), the clichy trap became stuck, causing a tension build-up underneath the right rungis retaining ring (Fig. 15). The enormous back pressure imploded outwardly, propelling the garche sarcelle (Fig. 9) towards Marcello’s clavicle. Fortunately for Mister Presac Lenny always keeps a favorite (favourite for our UK listeners) Proctor Silex R-102 right there on the syrup straining table in the event of a random late-night waffle gorging session. Marcello quite effortlessly grabbed the Proctor Silex, and, using it as a shield against the now-rocketing garche sarcelle (Fig, 12), managed to dodge the initial drops of steaming bobigny. Nevertheless, the projectile bounced off (bounced off for our UK listeners) the Teflon coating and tore into Marcello’s cheeky cheeky nosebleed bone like an octopus driving backwards through a drive-thru window at Jack-in-the Box. The photo tells it all.

Rest assured, the following morning (Fig. 10) found Lenny receiving a collect telephone call from Marcello’s legal team. Marcello reputedly teems with pain, bread, and nosepies.

Our newly-posted podcast will instruct you how to properly re-hinge the Oster 3883 belonging to Anthony Newly, so do make it a point to download and play this oozing audio. And while you listen (with headphones only), be aware that Marcello is in dire need of free gauze, ooze, and Moxie-stained maps of Potwin, Kansas. Contact Marcello’s nurse at whenwafflesmatter@gmail.com for inappropriate questions.

Got candy corn? Marcello Presac is back in the kitchen spinning records, wigs, and spider webs for our Halloween Spectacular! He’s pulling ALL of the skeletons out of his closet for this here stack-o-waffles!

So enormously HUGE is this event the United Nations General Assembly has just proclaimed that Halloween will be held on Marcello’s birthday, October 31st!

No iPod? Download, save, trick, treat, and burn the episode to a blank, round CD for vigorous listening later on.

Call Marcello in the USA with your sparkling secrets: 206-984-3865. Or, throw down that spatula and get typing: whenwafflesmatter@gmail.com. Unless we hear from you we won’t unless we hear from you.

Geesh. Even by our own standards this episode is just plain weird.

Headphones only, please, for this particular doughy download.

Hard work doesn’t frighten youth today. Not at all!

E-mail your nurse at whenwafflesmatter@gmail.com or record a voice print at 206-984-3865 (USA).

Useful Tips

1. Safety goggles should always be worn when using heavy machinery around nozzles. If your goggles are not worn you will have to wait several years until normal wear and tear causes them to become worn.
2. If your nozzle is clogged or otherwise prone to causing clogs or causes of clogging, other than being wise you may simply try sitting in a prone position thereby causing the simple clog to become positioned.
3. Not all nozzle clogs are really clogs. Some are attractive. Others can bite you. Still others may induce the compulsion to try camping. And there are a few out there that you just want to whack, I’m sorry.
4. Never toggle nozzle goggles.
5. If clogging occurs at the base of a nozzle use warm ginger ale and an Emory board to do what, I haven’t the foggiest. I never knew what an Emory board was anyway. Same with cheesecloth. Is it fabric woven from stale brie or…what?
6. Lather, rinse, emulsify, repeat.

These six simple yet rather wholesome steps — along with the accompanying podcast — will prove ineffective in your life unless you follow these six simple yet rather wholesome steps. Download the mp3 and get that nozzle shining like a new dime. Remember that new-nozzle smell the day your drove your nozzle home from the dealer? Sure you do. Try to enjoy your miserable life. Lenny is just an e-mail away: whenwafflesmatter@gmail.com and would be excited to comply to a fraction of your deepest nozzle queries. His favorite human being is you, so call him at 206-984-3865 in the USA.

Sleep tight tonight,

Lenny

WWM syruply supports and scrumptiously salutes the oodles of talented unsigned artists far above what our poor power can add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember the waffles we ate here, but it can never forget the music they performed here. It is for us the downloading, rather, to be dedicated here to the powdered sugar which they who emulsified have thus far so nobly advanced.

Lenny has obtained a signed affidavit from a guy named David. These documents have been unsealed and may go stale because they’re no longer sealed. At this point ‘twould be quite acceptable to feed them to the seals. Ye ploughman, when they were fresh they told of wondrous fables of faraway lands and Anacostia. Lenny homewardly plods his weary way and leaves the world to darkness and me. We shall raise him as our own and foam his collapsed brow with our own sweat droplets aged four years in oak barrels – not unlike Vernors Ginger Ale.

All shall be explained in this audio episode so stop whining, download, and get over it. Have your way with the podcast: Stream the sucker. Or save the mp3 file for later burning to a Cee-Dee.

We adore our loyal subscribers so much that we want to swaddle their iPods and sing Toni Fisher songs to them. Hark: E-mail us at whenwafflesmatter@gmail.com or simply call Lenny’s bulbous buttermilk butt and get him out of bed. Seriously: Telephone him in the USA anytime day or night: 1-206-984-3865. The podcast is free but the telephone call is not.

Enjoy the podcast and please support these wonderful MySpace Music artists.

Here at the WWM corporate kitchens we’re emulsifying like there’s no tomorrow. You can too! Douse yourself in this new wafflecast post. Don’t have an iPod? Well, download the sucker and burn to a Cee-Dee.

Behold: We’re looking for a very first listener in Australia (seriously); so do check in if Bob’s your uncle.

Everyone: send your blathered emulsifications here: wherewafflesmatter@gmail.com cuz we love them!

You should write to us (you really should): whenwafflesmatter@gmail.com

If you don’t have an iPod you can still bash that link to download and toss the file inside your pooter for later burning.

Hey, leave a comment at the MEET LENNY tab up top. Or drop us a line at whenwafflesmatter@gmail.com .

Thanks for dropping by!

The WWM Staff (who have staph germs)

Lenny was so excited he helped unload the truck. “I always knew they’d arrive sooner or later,” beamed the eternally optimistic Mr. Nombril. “We’re going to party like it’s 1976!”

Asked why the delivery took so long, the puzzled truck driver scratched his head and offered up, “Don’t blame me. I wasn’t even born until 1981!” The trucker had been genuinely worried that Lenny might get angry.

“Oh, these things happen!” brushed off the easy-going Lenny. “Heck, I’m still waiting for my wife to come home. She went ‘out with the girls’ April 8^th 1965 and hasn’t returned since. But I’m sure there’s a logical explanation.”

Boxes off the truck, Lenny got right to sorting and filling the decades-old spatula orders. “I don’t want our listeners to think we forgot about them,” affirmed Lenny. So, if you still live at the same address you had in 1976 you can expect your bicentennial spatula within a week via UPS ground.

If you are deceased and no longer enjoy our podcasts, please e-mail Lenny at whenwafflesmatter@gmail.com and he will make arrangements to cheerfully refund your money. In 2007 dollars the refund you will receive will be $174.23 per spatula.

Lenny has posted a new podcast below. If you don’t have an iPod, you can still click the download link and save the file to your ‘pooter for later CD burning.

Pass the syrup and enjoy the WaffleCast!

As Lenny cogently explained at his bail hearing on Wednesday, “Yes, my spatula may have come into contact with the police officer’s foot, but I was bending over to pick up a paper coupon for 10% off any Proctor-Silex product now through September 30th at participating dealers. Offer void in NE, VT, MO, MS, AZ, PA, WI, MA, and east Burtonsville.”

“The vice cop emphasized that he clearly saw a gold ring on my left hand. I responded with helpful tips on how to remove those pesky gold rings from around the edge of the batter bowl after a rather zesty waffle-preparation session.”

The judge didn’t buy Lenny’s story and threw the book at him. And we’re not talking the Betty Crocker book either.

“I really had Eggo on my face this time,” dispaired the affable yet wafflable Mr. Nombril.

Lenny presently sits in a tiny, rectangular cell. While awaiting his court date, Lenny passes the time composing anagrams of Aunt Jemima’s maiden name and using his tongue to draw maps of Belgium on his pillow case with his own saliva. Here’s his current fave YouTube video.

The rumors about the restraining order imposed against Lenny are false.

Finally, we hope you like the new 55-minute format. Many of you e-mailed to say that our previous 73-minute format caused your syrup nozzles to clog with needless grief, heartache, and house foreclosures.