When Waffles Matter

My Space But Your Spatula

The suits upstairs who run this debris field of a website noted decades ago how deliciously golden brown the unsigned music artists are over at MySpace Music. Snuggly megabytes to your pinna are therefore in order.

WWM syruply supports and scrumptiously salutes the oodles of talented unsigned artists far above what our poor power can add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember the waffles we ate here, but it can never forget the music they performed here. It is for us the downloading, rather, to be dedicated here to the powdered sugar which they who emulsified have thus far so nobly advanced.

Lenny has obtained a signed affidavit from a guy named David. These documents have been unsealed and may go stale because they’re no longer sealed. At this point ‘twould be quite acceptable to feed them to the seals. Ye ploughman, when they were fresh they told of wondrous fables of faraway lands and Anacostia. Lenny homewardly plods his weary way and leaves the world to darkness and me. We shall raise him as our own and foam his collapsed brow with our own sweat droplets aged four years in oak barrels – not unlike Vernors Ginger Ale.

All shall be explained in this audio episode so stop whining, download, and get over it. Have your way with the podcast: Stream the sucker. Or save the mp3 file for later burning to a Cee-Dee.

We adore our loyal subscribers so much that we want to swaddle their iPods and sing Toni Fisher songs to them. Hark: E-mail us at whenwafflesmatter@gmail.com or simply call Lenny’s bulbous buttermilk butt and get him out of bed. Seriously: Telephone him in the USA anytime day or night: 1-206-984-3865. The podcast is free but the telephone call is not.

Enjoy the podcast and please support these wonderful MySpace Music artists.

Emulsify! Emulsify!

Tenderly, our dad Lenny ponders the spent nose drop dispensers of his spent youth. How much did he spend on such a conflagration? Double the desired daily dosage dollop? And was his youth spent? Don’t know. Can’t say. Can’t even say if it was tenderly pondered. You may have already noticed – indeed many postings ago -- that this writer enjoys unnecessary adverbs. It’s a device and nothing more. Banish! Away ye to the LennyLinks (scroll below/right) und doth view Lenny’s FACEBOOK page.

Here at the WWM corporate kitchens we’re emulsifying like there’s no tomorrow. You can too! Douse yourself in this new wafflecast post. Don’t have an iPod? Well, download the sucker and burn to a Cee-Dee.

Behold: We’re looking for a very first listener in Australia (seriously); so do check in if Bob’s your uncle.

Everyone: send your blathered emulsifications here: wherewafflesmatter@gmail.com cuz we love them!

A Louer : Un Gaufrier

Lenny has done it again. Handsome recipes await you in this latest download. Two of the sumptuous plates were inspired by a gaggle of dead Algerian poets Lenny met on his very first junket to Brussels. Beaten to a pulp and left to rot in the seething Wallonian sun, Lenny barely managed to scribble these crowning concoctions onto a soiled napkin before oozing into a nearby convent. If you can find a better truck, then buy it. Unable to speak the language and strapped for cash, Lenny rented out his tongue for weddings and bar mitzvahs until a Walgreens was eventually constructed around him, whereupon he paid the astounded cashier, received a friendly smile, and simply strolled out the door. With newly-found devotionals and thrice-weekly dancing lessons Lenny wanders aimlessly looking for the misplaced car keys of life.

You should write to us (you really should): whenwafflesmatter@gmail.com

Happy Halloween!

Marcello goes trick-or-treating and searches for the meaning of life. Lenny decides he wants to take Rumba lessons after receiving a whack on the noggin. There's more fun waiting for you inside the podcast, so crank up the hi-fi and have at it. If you don't have an iPod you can still bash that link to download and toss the file inside your pooter for later burning. Hey, leave a comment at the MEET LENNY tab up top. Or drop us a line at whenwafflesmatter@gmail.com . Thanks for dropping by! The WWM Staff (who have staph germs)

Bicentennial Spatulas Have Arrived

For those of you who ordered WHEN WAFFLES MATTER celebrity spatulas 31 years ago, your ship has come in! A truck pulled up to the WWM kitchens Friday morning and delivered the 42,250 special bicentennial spatulas we ordered back in 1976. Lenny was so excited he helped unload the truck. “I always knew they’d arrive sooner or later,” beamed the eternally optimistic Mr. Nombril. “We’re going to party like it’s 1976!” Asked why the delivery took so long, the puzzled truck driver scratched his head and offered up, “Don’t blame me. I wasn’t even born until 1981!” The trucker had been genuinely worried that Lenny might get angry. “Oh, these things happen!” brushed off the easy-going Lenny. “Heck, I’m still waiting for my wife to come home. She went ‘out with the girls’ April 8^th 1965 and hasn’t returned since. But I’m sure there’s a logical explanation.” Boxes off the truck, Lenny got right to sorting and filling the decades-old spatula orders. “I don’t want our listeners to think we forgot about them,” affirmed Lenny. So, if you still live at the same address you had in 1976 you can expect your bicentennial spatula within a week via UPS ground. If you are deceased and no longer enjoy our podcasts, please e-mail Lenny at whenwafflesmatter@gmail.com and he will make arrangements to cheerfully refund your money. In 2007 dollars the refund you will receive will be $174.23 per spatula. Lenny has posted a new podcast below. If you don’t have an iPod, you can still click the download link and save the file to your ‘pooter for later CD burning. Pass the syrup and enjoy the WaffleCast!